Will working from home remain the norm after Corona or will we all go back to the office? For love, it's good news if everyone goes back to the offices because the workplace is a hotbed for budding crushes.
Work hard, play harder
Love in the workplace, it happens a lot and that makes sense. Put a group of people of about the same age, intelligence and interest together and have them spend about 30 hours a week together. Let them share business successes and setbacks together and celebrate this at the Friday afternoon drink. Work hard, play harder! I also experienced a real office romance myself. We were equal in function, so there was little in the way for us to test our interest in each other. Yet we kept our love a secret from everyone for at least half a year. That was exciting and sexy but also very frustrating, because I was so in love that I wanted to shout it from the rooftops! My beloved was afraid of the consequences for our careers if it got out and I respected that so I kept quiet. As our courtship lasted longer and became more serious, I started thinking about the consequences. What if I later became his ex-girlfriend but remained his colleague?
And then you get caught...
In the meantime, we were caught. Amsterdam is a small village in that respect and someone spotted us in a restaurant where we were eating. Interviews with HR and with our manager followed. Fortunately, it was not a problem if we continued to act professionally, but these are crazy conversations to have at work. However, I found it difficult to be his colleague and his girlfriend at the same time. At work he acted very cool and businesslike and in the evenings he could be very sweet. In itself very professional and good of him, but I couldn't separate things as well as he did. Time to make a decision: Whether I remained his girlfriend or not, I no longer wanted to be his colleague and I went to work elsewhere. This turned out to be an excellent move for our relationship and we have been together for twelve years now, six of which in marriage and we have three children. And we still really like each other ;) So it has worked out well for us, but there are more examples where it does not go well. Never put your pen in company inkt is a well known expression. In principle, it is better to separate love and work, but if someone is too nice and special to pass up, think of the following:
Equivalence
Are you equal in position or is one of the two higher in rank? Power eroticizes and falling in love with the boss is therefore obvious but is usually not a good idea. Ask yourself: Are you really in love with the person or maybe with the position? It's hard to answer this question because your head is n the clouds and you don't see things clearly. It often takes a while before you see everything clearly again. Only then will you know for sure what you have fallen in love with. If you get into a relationship, you should also ask yourself whether the difference in position in the workplace really stops at home. Are you equal or does the difference in function secretly play a role?
Sacrifice
Is this flame worth it? At work I spoke to a colleague who had a relationship with one of the managers. Not long after she came to work there, he made advances. At first she held it off although she liked him, after all, you want to make a good impression on your new colleagues. However, she also thought: 'I'd rather find a nice new job than a nice new guy.' By this she meant that she would put her relationship before her job, no matter how cool this job was. If you really like your colleague, you must be willing to give up your job for it. Your relationship really stands a chance if you invest in it, and that sometimes means giving up something else important. In this case your job. In her case, it was not necessary and they remained colleagues for five years in addition to being lovers. They both have different jobs now, but they are still together and have two children.
Honesty
If you are sure of your business and want to start the relationship, it is a good idea to share this at work. Have a conversation with HR and your manager and play an open card. Honesty and openness are appreciated and assume that sooner or later you will be caught. The world is small and it only takes one colleague to spot you in a restaurant or cinema and you are out of the closet. If there are consequences, see point: sacrifice above. But it does come true, the world is small.
Discretion
Once out in the open with your crush, you should not bother your colleagues with this. They want nothing to do with it after the initial curiosity of the news. You're doing well when they almost forget you're a couple. My colleague and her husband did this very cleverly. It took me two months before I even realized that they were a couple because I was just told. And I'm usually quite interested in the love life of my surroundings so that shows how discreet they were. So if you're dating your colleague, give each other space. Don't go to lunch or coffee together and stay away from each other at company parties! Don't spout at your colleagues about your fight this morning or share that you're looking forward to your weekend away. Trust me, nobody wants to know. Love in the workplace, going to work has never been so much fun. At the same time, never so exciting. Everyone has the right to love and your colleagues will feel the same way, provided there is no conflict of interest and you adhere to the above 'rules'. So don't let your ambition hold you back, go for it! And for now: Back 2 work! Do you not have attractive colleagues but would you like to find love? But now without obligation:
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