Monogamy is the norm in our society, but our instagram post about JFK and his 'open' marriage to Jackie got us some surprising reactions.
‘There are some "judgments" in there that come from our social conventions. Could it be that he loved Jackie dearly but couldn't share everything with her? Why do we think you can find Everything in 1 person?’
Can you stipulate monogamy in your relationship or is that naive or possessive? If you've agreed to exclusivity, how do you respond to a third party in your relationship? Do you leave your partner or can you forgive? Everything will depend on what is at stake and how (often) it happened. When can you forgive this?
"Well deceit has existed for ages, are we really made to swear eternal allegiance to that one person? Infatuation can come upon you without really seeking it and is human. Are we therefore bad persons? I do not think so."
The fling
Is it a one-off and does the cheater sincerely regret it? Do you have a beautiful relationship and maybe even children, then it would be a shame to let this little adventure destroy everything, right? On the other hand, if you have such a beautiful relationship and there is so much at stake, why let yourself be tempted by something so "small" that has such big consequences? Cheating damages trust and the respect he/she has for you will also be considerably diminished.
The affaire
What if you fall in love with someone else? Our sex drive can be very strong and prevent us from seeing things clearly. Add to that the fact that something that is forbidden is also extra attractive and it will be damn hard not to give in to this exciting temptation. Dangerous though, are you really leaving your family behind for this crush? Or is it decided for you? And then of course we have all the opinion of others who think all kinds of things. You may be able to forgive your partner, but that doesn't mean those around you can too. While it is really between two people how this could have happened and how they should continue with this.
Why this can also happen to you:
The fact is that we are all human and we go through different developments in our lives. If you have been together longer, it is important to experience these developments together and to grow together. Unfortunately, this does not (always) happen automatically. Are you in a phase where you are a little less connected, then temptation is lurking. Without realizing it, you can develop feelings for someone else. However, you always have a choice whether or not to do something with this. Infatuation always passes. As difficult as it may seem, it's usually smarter to choose to ignore the crush and work on your relationship. The condition is that you both do this. Is cheating the end of your relationship? Yes, it ends the relationship as it is now, it will change forever. If you both really want to, you can work it out together by really communicating with each other. Will you be able to restore trust or will you perhaps find a new form for your love? It is essential that you keep out all third-party opinions. It is about you and about you alone.
“If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion, I am not interested in or open to your feedback.” - Brene Brown
It's your arena and only you make the rules.
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